Lately, as I review my blog entries (or the lack thereof!), I see how closely it mirrors a number of what I hold dear in my heart. Lately, my entries become less personal, in the sense that I just don't talk about me and myself; rather, I am still revealing bits and pieces of what makes me tick or pissed in the form of advocacies and issues I blog about. Still, I see myself as a myopic, unfocused individual who seems to be flailing about.
This wandering feeling is even highlighted when I encounter people like:
Harvey Milk, staunch defender of civil rights in San Francisco;
Christopher McCandless, who walked away from the world's excesses in order to find himself and what is essential in the wilderness of Alaska;
Margaret Moth, CNN camerawoman extraodinaire, who didn't let canons nor cancer get in the way of covering a story.
Theirs is a single-minded doggedness that is oblivious to pain and discomfort, all in the pursuit of what is important and true for them. In fact, they didn't really have to do it, their individual exploits. But because of their desire to make a difference, our lives are somewhat better now.
Oddly enough, they remind me of Jesus' life- His zest for God's Word, His focus on service, His unparalleled obedience, His unwavering sense of mission despite humanity's unworthiness. He really didn't have to do all that He did, frankly speaking; but He did. And boy, did Jesus endure a lot!
In Paul's Letter to the Philippians Chapter 2, he recalled:
Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped. Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance, he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
Now THAT is PASSION.
In the face of all my wandering and restlessness, I just pray to the Lord to please grant me clarity of purpose- why am I really here, what do I have to do, where should I really be in. I pray to the Lord that when He guides me to that spot that is my earthly niche, that He empowers me with all that I need. And if where I am now is where I am really supposed to be in, that I continue to find comfort, contentment, and peace with all I encounter =]
May God evolve my wanderlust into His Son's Passion...